Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Death to the Big Purple Dinosaur

I think it's awesome that Maddie likes stuffed animals.  Ryan wanted nothing to do with them.  I think M looks so darn cute when she sees one.  She picks it up, holds it at arms length for a moment while looking at it lovingly, and then she moves in for the a big wet kiss.  She shmooshes (hey, it's a word!) her face into it while babbling sweet nothings into its ear (if it has one).  It's pure bliss for all involved.

HOWEVER, her new love interest is this guy.

Oh sure, he looks innocent enough, all jolly and purple.  And sure, the one we have has a cute heart on his belly that says "I love you" and when you push his belly, he breaks out into song:
I love you.
You love me.
We're a happy family.
With a great big hug, and a kiss from me to you.
Won't you say you love me too?

Awww, how sweet, right?  Yeah, not really.  I guess it would be ok if she only pushed the thing like once a month, but she pushes it 83,247 times a freakin' day.  So to Barney, I want to say this - While I think it's very nice that you love me, I seriously don't love you.  So hell no, I won't tell you that I love you.  Besides, and maybe you don't realize this, but YOU HAVE NO EARS, so even if I wanted to tell you that I love you, you wouldn't hear me, you stupid purple freaked-out dinosaur! I want to shove a dirty sock into your permanently open mouth and watch you gag to death. OK?  XXOO


H. McFadden said...

What a riot! Is that a Barney that I gave you, by chance?? My deepest apologizies, my friend. Now, I'm off... to consider what noisy freaky toy I can buy for Maddy!

Cup of Crazy said...

I've never allowed Barney in my house for this exact reason!

Heather said...

Welcome to the blogosphere! I left you a prize on mine. :)

Leslie said...

LMAO! I hope I don't have to worry about him when the Stoehr kiddies show up. :)